The Amazing Future of Android

Believe me when I tell you that the high profile lifestyle of a tech blogger isn’t an easy one. Technology is a complex and ever changing subject and remaining on the cutting edge can be as difficult and painful as watching a Sara Palin interview on Larry King Live. Most journalists (and I do use that term loosely) have the leisure of storing up nuts (that is writing multiple articles in advance of their deadline) without their subject matter turning stale. Not so with tech blogging, where daily we are faced with gut wrenching choices of what topics we will highlight, and which we will inevitably ignore. Today I was faced with just such a decision. Do I dedicate my article to the fascinating tale of how the T-Mobile G1 has been hacked into the world’s most expensive garage door opener, or do I regale you with the sordid tale of how Adobe finally has made Flash 10 compatible with several mobile operating systems including Android? To be honest, the choice is just too hard. For starters, the human interest of the garage door angle is just too much to ignore. Cell phones are steadily becoming more and more the tool of choice for all of our day to day tasks. They are our organizers, our calendars, or web browsers and our alarm clocks. There are only a few simple enhancements necessary, and the modern smart phone could make a significant number of household staples obsolete in no time. Just for fun, I have compiled a list of the top 3 common household items most likely to be replaced by Google android in the next few weeks. The Toothbrush – Let’s face it, programming Java is hard. If it weren’t so hard, chances are I would be spending my time programming some useful Android application rather than writing this blog. Ergo, the most obvious innovations in Android powered handsets will almost certainly be hardware related. A few well placed bristles and your android handset instantly becomes a maxillary wonder. While your old toothbrush sits at home in the cup on your bathroom sink, your Android handset goes where you go. Anywhere teeth get dirty, you can trust your Android mobile to be there. The Cork Screw – Cork screws have been a staple on Swiss army knives for years. That’s all well and good if you are a member of the Swiss army. But what about the rest of us winos? Again, with cork screw enabled Android phones, where ever you need to pop the cork, your Android is right beside you. Luckily for you, with its location awareness, Android can remember where you parked the car after your binge. The Microwave Oven – You may not know it, but an awful lot people think that the microwave frequencies produced by your cellular devices are already slowly cooking your brain. While this undoubtedly is not good for your medulla oblongata, it may be just what the doctor ordered for the Stouffer’s lasagna you intend to eat for lunch. A simple increase in power, and your Android phone could put the Hasbro Easy Bake Oven to shame. Don’t worry about your microwave misfiring and actually cooking your brain, as I am sure the built in accelerometer will probably prevent it from activating while the phone is near your ear. Obviously, the Android phone is an immensely useful device, full of intrigue and delight. With that being said, I would be remiss to end this article and not to mention the fact that now that Adobe flash will be available for Android you will be able to avail yourself of the plethora of useful flash tools that we have all come to rely on so heavily including but certainly not limited to various flatulence simulations and “what’s wrong with this picture” gags. If that’s not quality tech news, friends, I don’t know what is.

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